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Everybody Cut Footloose

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Except you, awkward white people.  You need to stop.

The fine print says “Get free dance booklet at your Career Club dealer.”  To those of you in your sixties (who were alive in the 60s), is that where you learned your dance moves?  Your Career Club dealer?  I bet your drug dealer could teach better moves.  Stiff and forced, Milton practically begs for a bottle of Schlitz to loosen him up–his hand is already in position.  Why, in ten minutes, he could be a poor man’s Davy Jones!  I don’t recall ever seeing “the skate” performed on American Bandstand, and I can pretty well rest assured it was never on Soul Train.  It looks less like skating and more like “festive ways to fart.”



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