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Winner Of Ugliest Font Contest

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Sears71-022If I were a few decades older, had a poodle dog blue-tint permanent, cats-eye glasses, and support hose, I would jump up and yell, “Bingo!” because this font is hideous. By golly, this font is downright repellent, like a Gwyneth Paltrow quote or Kevin Smith himself.

Sears71-022

The answer to any 1970s question is usually “drugs,” and that could well be the case, but surely there was a professional graphic designer who decided this would reflect the times. Indeed, the letters themselves appear to be wearing bellbottoms, or be suffering from pedal edema. As close as I can find, it looks like the Karloff Negative font, but my research was minimal. It would make sense, however, as Borlis Karloff was known for his horror movie roles, and this is horrific. Gee, this font looks horrific.This 1971 catalog however, is the bomb. The cat’s meow. The bee’s knees.

Who can resist the poor man’s James Garner, wearing his not-a-wedding-ring and sporting a polyester/rayon blend? Do you see that “brown stripe” sample? That is legit cloth. I’m touching it. It has the feel of a fine silk blend.

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Yep, this catalog, preserved for four decades in a midwest basement, is in excellent condition, with a crisp mint green envelope inside.Sears71-026All you had to do was afix a SIX CENT stamp, until May of that year, when they jumped up to an atrocious eight cents.

Before Chinese and Taiwanese children knitted our clothing, “master tailors” custom-sewed our suits. Witness in action non-outsourced jobs.

Sears71-024Prior to the convenience of online shopping, all you had to do was pick your fabric, have your wife measure you, and send in your check. Easy-peasy, right?

Sears71-025To complete the look, Roy Orbison-style unsightly prescription sunglasses are suggested. P.S. Roy Orbison was not blind.

 



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